The Story of Expanding Heart

This painting took nine months to complete. Interesting....The same time it takes to create a new life. And in many ways that is exactly what this painting did for me.

There were times of intense creativity while making this painting, followed by weeks of gestating, waiting for the next wave of inspiration to come. There are layers upon layers of color beneath the surface, unseen but still necessary. I never envisioned the final image, never knew the subject of the painting until it was complete.

As the in-progress images suggest, I painted this in every orientation, both on the wall and flat on a table. Going over areas again and again I thought were complete, not knowing the final destination or when I'd finally finish... Perhaps I had it all wrong and it was just a confusing mess on a very large canvas.

Finally I knew the painting was done, but still didn't understand it. I hung it on the wall and backed way up. Only then could I see that it was an expanding heart. Look at it...it is not a gentle lotus flower opening its petals. It is being wrenched apart, broken open. 

I finally understood its message.  That difficult, traumatic breaking is necessary to allow the Light within to emerge.

While I created this image I simultaneously found myself needing to do deep forgiveness work towards myself and others, coming to accept things as they are, seeing perfection in the imperfection, feeling the grace, breathing gratitude.  The process of painting it taught me about patience and trust to a degree I didn't think possible. It took me through periods of chaos and deep uncertainty.

It showed me the gift hidden in all the blows to my heart over the years.  That I too had become a bit more expanded and shining a little more Light, like the painting.